Our piece to the puzzle.

It was a pretty grey looking day in late August.  The clouds were all but covering the sun.  I pulled our minivan up to the first available parking spot in our church's parking lot and started to unload the two kids.
My husband works on the Media Team at church and usually leaves the house an hour or so before we do, so I am usually on my own with the kids.  I get Peanut out of the car first, because he is much easier to manage in a parking lot.  As I was unstrapping Sassy, while keeping sight of Peanut in the corner of my eye, I heard him make a little gasping noise and then he disappeared from my immediate vision.  I quickly clipped Sassy back in and turned in Peanuts general direction.

He was crouched on the ground looking closely at something on the pavement.  I reacted quickly, because he occasionally still has issues with Pica.  He usually is crouched down in this manner to find a little something on the ground to put in his mouth.  I bent down and prompted him to stand up.

"Mama!" He said in an excited tone.  "My piece!"

"What?" I asked

"My puzzle piece!  It's the missing piece to my puzzle!"

I looked down as he opened his small hand to reveal a puzzle piece colored in different shades of blue.

The whole thing took me by surprise, and at first I didn't know how to respond.  I felt like there was something almost profound occurring.

"Yeah! It's my missing puzzle piece!  You found it mama!  Oh thank-you!"

Peanut then lunged forward and wrapped his arms around my waist squeezing tight.  He looked up right at me making eye contact only a mother engrossed in the world of Autism can truly appreciate and asked,
 "Can I take it with me?  I'll keep it in my pocket."

"Sure you can." I said.  "Just be careful not to loose it."

Before he picked it up off the ground, I stopped him and told him we should take a picture of it.  He agreed and I used my phone to snap a quick picture.  He flashed me a big smile, picked it up, and tucked the puzzle piece in his pocket.  We went on with our day, business as usual.  That night I sat and thought about the irony of my son telling me that I had found the missing piece to his puzzle.

Autism is a very complex disorder, and is very different from person to person.  There are many challenges to overcome, and many people use a puzzle, and sometimes more specifically the puzzle piece, as a symbol of the disorder.  There are many pieces to one person's puzzle.  Autism for one person is different from another.  There is varying levels of function, which can be very deceiving.  Some people with Autism may be considered "high functioning" but are never able to live by themselves, because of a difficulty in another area of their lives, such as safety awareness.  As you can see, when it comes to Autism, there are many pieces to the puzzle.

We accept both of our children as the perfect creations of God that they are, but we also want the best for them.  In order for us to achieve that, we need to help them reach their full potential, just like any other parent.  Our hope just may be a little different from the "typical" family.  Instead of hoping my child grows up to be a Doctor or a Lawyer, I dream that both of my children can live on their own and care for themselves when my husband and I are gone.  For me, this means we need to figure out the missing pieces to our children's puzzles.  That involves helping them to be as healthy as possible.  Autism is not just a neurological disorder, but is also a biological disorder, causing issues with bowel function, immune system function and energy production to cells.  This is why we utilize the expertise of a DAN! doctor and bring them to a chiropractor.  Our children now suffer from less bowel issues and pain and can focus their energy on their therapies to teach them how to talk, socialize, and learn important life skills.

The blue colors in this puzzle piece speak volumes to me.  According to Living Arts Originals, the color blue has many meanings.  Wearing blue can symbolize a person as living an analytical and practical life (Autism anyone?). In art, blue is used to show perspective, and is considered calming.  The missing piece to the puzzle, would in fact relax us because we would know that everything would be okay with our children.  It would definitely give us perspective.

Blue is also associated with freedom and strength.  Our strength and freedom come from God.  Without him we would be nothing.  Without him, we couldn't be successful on our journey.  Knowing this, I think God let me find this piece to the puzzle for a reason.  Finding it, gave me a new perspective.  Our hope, our strength, our peace and our future, needs to come from God and nowhere else.  God has the missing piece needed, we just need to get out of the way and allow him to to place it in our puzzle.



"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."      
Philippians 4:6-7